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the aristocrat
[ about Him ]
* name gary
* age 18
* dob 21sept1987
* dateofdeath soon
Bitched on the Tuesday, March 15, 2005.
looking back at the past. everything just seems so carefree. everything just seems so happy. everything just seems like im in heaven. everything just seems as though our love would never fade away. everything just seems so real. everything just seems to make me hope it never ends. everything just seems to never make me sad. everything just makes me love her. everything seems to never end. but it has ended. looking into the present. everything seems so torturous everything seems so sad. everything seems like im in hell. everything just seems as though i'll be dwelling here forever. everything just seems so fake. everything seems to make me hope it had never ended. everything just makes me miss her. everything just seems to make me wanna love her more. but its too late. everything is gone now. thanks to my selfish behaviour. my possessive attitude. my sucky self.
Im currently leading a life of hell. a life of alcohol. a life of never ending pain. a meaningless life. a painful life.
i wished i had. never hurt her. never lied to her. never let her go.
there goes my cheerful lifestyle. here comes my sorrowful life.
i guess i'll never be the same again. knowing her was a milestone. she made me do things i never thought i was able to do. she encouraged me as if nothing was impossible. she loved me like no other. she was my guardian angel. but i abandoned her. thanks to my selfish acts.
i wish i was dead. banged down by a car. fall down from a building. poisoned by someone. attacked by a disease. hunted by someone. striked by lightning. but i guess none of these will ever happen to me.
life is meaningless. it has totally lost its meaning to me.
nothing will ever bring her back to me. never will i be loved by her again.